A Monopoly on Valuable Things

When a close friend of mine recently asked me what I miss about being a believer I had to think for a second. Often those who become disillusioned with religious faith cannot stop saying and writing nasty things about it. The anger is justified - for a period of time. Eventually you need to be honest about your experience and admit the benefits religion has to so many people.

The thing I miss the most is the feeling of camaraderie I had meeting with people on a regular basis who had a common cause greater than themselves. Even the most introverted person wants to belong to something.
Second, I miss the weekly communication with people who cared deeply about philosophical questions like the problem of evil, the meaning of existence, and how we should live our lives. Even if I now think people are wrong about their theistic beliefs I have respect for their persuit of truth and meaning.
And another thing I miss is the strong values that are taught and lived by religious adherents. Where else does one turn to hear encouraging messages on parenting? Where can teenagers and young adults turn to hear advice about living their lives morally?

There are other little things of course. Like the solace of prayer, the safety of church meetings, the feeling of eternal security. Some of these feelings are hard to replicate in our everyday lives outside religion.
I do think that religion has a monopoly on these things I miss. Americans are so individualistic and everyone is chasing wealth and prestige. Everyone's time is strained from the demands of everyday life. There are few places outside of religious communities where one can truly feel a part of something big, where they can discuss life's major questions, and where people can learn how to better live their lives.

So religions have these things. But they also have harmful teachings, questionable theological positions (and dogmas) that translate into political activism, and supposed miracles that are mixed in with more solid historical events. It is hard for religious believers, who rightly value the above-mentioned benefits of faith, to separate the things they value from the harmful aspects of their faith they should call into question. It becomes an all-or-nothing acceptance of the good and bad of that religion.

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